30 Mar 6 Tips for Talking with your Teen
Brooklyn Letters
1139 Prospect Avenue, Brooklyn
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We would highly recommend Ally! Our son always asks about her, so very thankful to Brooklyn Letters for introducing us.
~ Emily, mom of Brooklyn 2 year old -
Nicole has been an amazing therapist!! She played a tremendous role in our daughter’s speech progress and overall development. She has come such a long way and we are so happy with the therapy she received!
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I cannot express how grateful and rewarding my experience with Brooklyn Letters has been. Her tutor Ms. Daria is so knowledgeable, amazing, kind and awesome. My daughter has made so much progress in Literacy and Math and it's all … More thanks to Ms. Daria. I know my daughter is sad that she can no longer work with Ms. Daria, as she looked forward to their sessions every week. Thank you again!
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Excellent services, caring therapists.
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Christina was absolutely wonderful. She went out of her way to win my son over and it worked. He looked forward to her visits and his speech improved so much under her care. She was super flexible and it’s clear she truly cares. We adore … More Christina and we’re going to miss her. Almost sad he improved so much! She’s simply amazing and we can’t say enough how great she is. I would recommend her services to anyone and everyone, without hesitation. Thank you so much for connecting us with her!
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We could not be happier with the services Valerie provided! She is very thoughtful and knowledgeable and provided significant guidance to support our daughter's speech development outside of our scheduled sessions. She established … More a great working relationship with her, and she will definitely be missed! Your business model is amazing and it was an absolute pleasure working with Valerie. I've referred your organization and Valerie to the Executive Director of our daughter's school and friends/colleagues who are in need of speech therapy services.
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We cannot say enough good things about Effie, the ASL teacher, who was so engaged and effective with our 2 year old daughter from the very first session! Effie gladly included our whole family in the sessions! Her expertise and fantastic … More personality gave our daughter a way to communicate that she was so desperately seeking. The coordinators at Brooklyn Letters were so helpful and communicative…I would highly recommend their services!
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The company is great with outstanding customer service. They keep my horses protected. I have recommended them to other horses trainers as well that are going to get service early next year. Very professional an honest too. Respectfully … More submitted Christopher
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Ron and Ken did a fantastic job with our security system today. Installed everything very quick. Both of them were very polite and asked us throughout if the installation met our needs. Simply fantastic!
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I called Cornerstone Protection to get a Security system at a relatives out of state property, within a week it was installed! The installers worked with the client to help understand her new system and she was happy! Our relative said … More they were courteous, professional and patient! I highly recommend Cornerstone Protection for all of your security needs!
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Had blink cameras; Car was broken into multiple times so I called CornerStone & they were able to install multiple cameras very quickly & for a reasonable price. I am so happy with the app & getting alerts that are not superfluous, … More like they were with Blink. Highly recommend CornerStone & the tech Ronnie.
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Ron and Ken are great guys to work with.
Both were very knowledgeable and got our system back up and running.
Thanks to both for a job well done... -
Samantha Dalmas was fantastic! We saw her for a feeding therapy evaluation and while she doesn’t think my daughter needs more feeding therapy sessions at this time, but she gave me lots of tips to try. If my daughter's doctors want … More to see more progress at her next appointment, I wouldn’t hesitate to reach out to Samantha again.
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Amazing assistance provided by Shannon today on my security system. I’m so grateful for your prompt, efficient, professional, and courteous service. Put me down as a customer for life!
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One of the most painless experiences I've had. They came on time and was over the moon professional with still keeping a level of personability to it. The gentleman also went out of his way to say that my husband and Mines business … More was appreciated. Which is actually rare to be appreciated by such a great company. So thank you and we look forward to continuing services with this company.
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I am so happy we decided to go with cornerstone. They were quick and efficient. Shannon and the installer we very friendly. We got a lot of equipment and it was still within our budget. 10/10 would definitely recommend! Thank you
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Love the customer service and Shanon and his team go above and beyond for my restaurant. Couldn't of asked for a better security system and level of service that his team provides.
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I have been using Cornerstone Protection service for over 5 years and I'm really happy with the service and state-of-the-art equipments and it's futures are so much in advance and friendly, I highly recommend Cornerstone Protection … More Service any and all business that need a security protection days and nights specially after business hours(Cornerstone Protection is perfect solution for your business). Owner of Cornerstone Protection is proactive with their customers and their equipments. Good experienced with Cornerstone Protection!!!
Kanu Patel -
We had a very positive experience with Alissa as a tutor for our pod of 5th grade boys from January - June 2020. She cared a lot about the boys and worked hard to create meaningful activities for them. The pod experience was invaluable … More for all of our families during a difficult year and we were so grateful to have found this partnership! We also want to appreciate Craig for helping to match us with a tutor on very short notice after we had cycled through a few folks who were not able to see the commitment through. Thanks for sticking with us!
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Dusty was the exact person we needed to help our child finish out the school year. So grateful to him for the way he steadily encouraged her and helped her stay on track and organized. He is flexible, responsive to our needs/schedule as … More a family, and a delight to be with. We are also thankful that Craig at Themba Tutors really "gets it" and partnered us with such a wonderful tutor who was a great fit for our girl.
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My child worked with Gillian D virtually for math enrichment. She is an excellent teacher. She took time to understand my child's specific learning style and provided tools that would be engaging. She was kind and empathetic- really … More made it her goal to connect with my child and build trust and rapport. My child started the school year with confidence and without the typically "brain-drain" that occurs over the summer, thanks to Gillian.
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I am going into my second year as a Themba tutor. I have met so many great individuals while working for this company. Craig and the rest of the Themba team do such an excellent job picking and choosing Themba tutors that suit each client's … More individual needs! I look forward to meeting new tutors and clients in the 2021-2022 school year!
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Our son started in a new high school, 100% remote, and was really struggling with Latin and Physics. I found Themba Tudors online and had an initial call with Craig, who was very knowledgeable, responsive, and found 2 amazing tutors for … More us. Both the Latin and the physics tutors were fantastic, connected with my son really well and helped him go from 'failing' grade to 'honors'! I will for sure continue using (and recommending!) Themba Tutors. Thank you, C, K, and W!
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Brian is a fantastic executive functioning coach. Super helpful, flexible with hours, and tailored the experience to our needs.
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Giulia Mercuri is a great Italian tutor! She was very responsive and accessible. Giulia put a ton of effort into preparing for each session and really helped our son with test preparation and projects. We are grateful that she was able … More to help, especially since our son did not receive any live teaching during COVID. We are happy that she was referred to us!
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As an adult student diagnosed with a learning disability during grad school, I knew I needed help dealing with my Master's program's demanding workload. I was seriously considering dropping out when I was referred to Themba Tutors. … More I was paired up with a wonderful tutor, Julie, who was a total lifesaver. I learned many techniques that I can utilize in the future as I embark on the next phase of my career.
I can wholeheartedly say after working with Themba for two years that I would not have finished my program without this organization. And I am so thankful I selected them. -
We were introduced to a wonderful tutor: Mcedwyn. He and our son, a freshman in college, worked well together. As a result, our son’s grades significantly improved. The tutor taught our son subject content and various methods to effectively … More study for quizzes and exams. Our son was also taught time management and organization. My son’s experience with the tutor made the first year of college a less intimidating experience.
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We have been with our tutor, Cailin Schiller, for two years, from 5th - 7th grade. She started as an executive functioning tutor with my daughter. From the start, she demonstrated a depth of expertise and a selective use of techniques skillfully … More adapted to my daughter’s ADHD and Math disability. Cailin made Math accessible and understandable to her in a way that even her teachers had not been able to do. She differentiated reading, writing and math tasks and assignments to tailor them to my daughter’s unique learning differences. Not only did it have an effect on her grades and her work efficiency, but she finally could do her work with less anxiety. Even my daughter’s teachers used Cailin’s guidance to modify their work with her. But most importantly, she became my daughter’s favorite resource. I can’t say how invaluable Cailin has been to my daughter’s progress and well-being. I’d recommend her a million times over. She is a gem.
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Victoria is a superb tutor. She helped my high school age daughter with her writing. Victoria's skills as a tutor, as well as her sense of humor and her engaging personality went a long way with my daughter.
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Themba Tutors provided a leaning specialist that was a perfect fit for my daughter. I told them what we were looking for and they delivered. Our tutor is responsive and flexible and makes it easy for my daughter to reach out to her own … More her own, which gives her an added sense of responsibility over her learning. As a therapist myself, I now regularly recommend Themba to my patients. A much needed and well provided service to the community!!
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The tutors at Themba are fantastic! Caitlyn McNeill helped our son academically, but also with getting organized in every subject, which he so desperately needed. She offered great advice and useful strategies that helped our son become … More a more successful student. We are using Themba tutors again this year for our daughter. We're so happy to have been referred to them!
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I'm so glad we were referred to Themba Tutors. After a great initial conversation to learn our needs, we were connected with an excellent tutor, Felicia, who is helping our high school daughter learn better organizational and executive … More skills. Highly recommended.
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We had a wonderful experience with our tutor Micaela. She helped our son not only academically but at every level. We will be forever grateful to have her in our lives.
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The tutors at Themba are fantastic! Caitlyn McNeill helped our son academically, but also with getting organized in every subject, which he so desperately needed. She offered great advice and useful strategies that helped our son become … More a more successful student. We are using Themba tutors again this year for our daughter. We're so happy to have been referred to them!
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Paul Smith at Themba has been an exceptional tutor for my son, both in terms of teaching the subject matter and teaching how best to approach the process of learning math and executing assignments. We feel very fortunate to be working with … More Paul.
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We were very lucky to have found Edwouine Swift, my son's therapist through Themba Tutors. Thomas is 12 years old, and it is extremely difficult to get him to write. Edwouine just works her magic with him, he adores her and is so … More eager to follow her guidance. I have no doubt she will be a positive driving force in his academic future.
6 TIPS FOR TALKING WITH YOUR TEEN
Tips for Talking with Your Teen
As a parent of an adolescent, you may find it difficult to communicate with your child. Listening to them can be hard as they develop a change of opinions, right? However, it’s important to remember that your teen has a lot on their plate.
They are juggling emotional struggles, hormonal changes, and endless school assignments and exams. Learning to empathize, then accordingly speaking and listening becomes necessary.
Talking to teens is vital for their mental health, personal mindset, and academic life. Parents can achieve this through positive parenting, encouraging openness, validation, and non-judgmental listening.
According to a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) survey in 2019, over 44% of teenagers in the United States experienced severe mental health issues during the pandemic. This fact also correlates with teenagers being glued to the screens while the lockdown was implemented.
Remaining indoors doubled their screen time and decreased actual social interaction. In turn, this loneliness had negative mental health effects. Though this is not a permanent impact, you must learn to practice your power to communicate healthily.
How Positive Parenting can Affect Communication with Teens
Communication and connection are a two-way road.
The transition to adolescence comes with behavioral changes, and it’s normal. Thinking of it as a ‘bad’ attitude only paves the way for less communication. It’s just that your teen wants to spend time with you while having no restrictions.
So remember to consider independence and quality family time as something other than mutually exclusive for teens. Learning the titbits of positive parenting can help you bridge this communication gap.
In a nutshell, you give your teen the gift of:
- Understanding their needs
- Respecting their boundaries and ‘me’ time
- Showing genuine interest
- Making memories together
- Discussing to make mutual decisions
- Taking conflicts as opportunities to connect
But this is easier said than done. How do you approach your teen when surrounded by homework and peer pressure?
Tips for Parents to Communicate with Teens
1. Be Willing to Listen Without Judgment
Different opinions should be welcomed.
Finding yourself at odds with your teenage child is something common. Changing moods and behaviors can be hard to navigate. So it’s essential to actively listen instead of jumping in with advice or criticism! Praising your child three times more than you criticize them helps build their confidence and self-esteem. The 3:1 positive-to-negative ratio is a simple rule of thumb to help you maintain the right balance.
Doing so creates a safe environment where your child can blossom and shine. They can share their struggles, fears, and achievements without cracking a nerve.
So what to do instead?
- If your child is underperforming at school – ask them what is bothering them instead of just asking whether or not an issue exists.
- Put your biases and beliefs aside to avoid selective listening.
- Avoid the urge to give lectures.
Being non-judgmental will put your teen at ease. It contributes toward a balanced parent-child relationship rather than one that feels like a tug of war.
2. Control Your Expectations
Don’t be harsh on your child with high expectations.
As a parent, having expectations can be normal. But it can also be toxic if you cross the line and push your child into doing something uncomfortable. You might think of your teen as being slow or not hardworking enough, not getting a perfect score on your test.
Putting your child on a pedestal does more harm than good. It blows their self-esteem as they feel they can’t open up to their parents. This ‘guilt’ can also make them distant because they would feel disappointed in the family.
So it’s essential to keep your behavior in check. Are you making your child walk on eggshells?
Do you acknowledge their efforts from time to time? It’s critical to communicate healthy expectations and give your child independence at the same time. Otherwise, the see-saw can be off balance, and only one side wins – leading to a toxic relationship.
- Have a mental throwback to the time you were a teenager.
- Visualize your struggles and empathize with your child.
- Remember that you were in a different era and society, and things changed.
- Don’t build expectations according to your teenage experiences.
- Try to understand the modern world and where your child fits in. Every era has its own toxic standards, and your teen might already feel suffocated by contemporary society’s expectations.
Being strict or aggressive will push your child away. Teaching them self-control is important for the sake of emotional intelligence. But your teen is more likely to follow suit if they see you exercising restraint too!
Always think before you act, and don’t assume what they believe. Initiate communication to help them feel comfortable.
Supporting your teen through stressful experiences goes a long way in their self-development. It can help them confidently voice their opinions and learn more about themselves.
3. Empathize with Them
Parents need to remember how vulnerable teenagers can be.
You might cringe at the unusual behavior from your teen’s end. But this is the point where you need to bridge the communication gap. You can expect them to struggle for independence and look down on your views.
Why is your teen behaving like that? One of the main struggles is self-control, as hormonal changes can incite unusual behavior in your child. These fits of rage might put you off. So it’s necessary to put yourself in their shoes and empathize.
- Exhibit self-control in front of your teenager
- Try to understand their perspectives
- Ask questions when you don’t know what they are saying
- Nod and give genuine gestures that you’re listening
Be aware of their emotional state and act accordingly. Relax and give them time and space if they are unwilling to listen or do something you ask them to.
4. Ask Honest Questions, Not Loaded Questions
Ask better questions to get to know your teenage child better.
A yes or no from your child barely gives away anything. Active listening is one bit for better and more open conversations. The other part is asking open-ended questions with the intent of connecting.
For example, instead of asking, “Did you have a good day?” try asking, “What was your day like today?” Notice how such questions can encourage your child to share unfiltered experiences.
Also, take a deep interest in their interests (hobbies, subjects they love, etc.). Topics of discussion can arise from these and build a two-way communication road. If your child loves watching horror shows, what drives them to do so? Ask them, and you’ll discover many character traits and build your relationship with them over time.
Remember to be patient if your child doesn’t respond immediately. Give them time and space to open up, as it’s all about creating a safe and comfortable environment.
5. Validate Their Experiences
Encourage your teen, for they are trying their best!
Appreciate your teen more often. Think about how you would call their drawings great when they were a kid. And they need the same level of self-esteem boost even as a teenager.
On the surface, they don’t care what others think. However, they want their parents to be proud of them, and your words of affirmation can go a long way. Let them solve problems independently, but stick with them through thick and thin.
Whether it’s a romantic breakup or poor performance at school, tell them their feelings are valid rather than encouraging an emotional shift.
6. Build Trust and Find Common Ground
Comfort and trust are important elements of communication.
Nobody likes the feeling of walking on eggshells. If you react negatively whenever your teen talks to you, they’ll stop communicating altogether. Eventually, they will lose trust and won’t feel comfortable around you to the point they wouldn’t even want to spend time.
- Have a meal together for awesome dinner conversations.
- Encourage group talks with the family (just like at the dinner table)
- Ask them to put away their phones for their undivided attention.
- Ask them to do something for you (an easy chore or running an errand). They will feel valued but must practice self-control if they turn the task down! Bonus tip: Pick a privileged job, like paying the bill.
- Make room for family activities like going to the movies, cooking, and hiking without bringing in debates or personal topics.
In addition to building trust, finding common ground can help bridge the gap between you and your teen. Try to find a shared interest, such as playing video games together. Check out resources like A Parent’s Guide To Video Games to learn more about your teen’s hobbies and interests and to spend quality time together. Incorporate family activities like going to the movies, cooking, or hiking without bringing in debates or personal topics. By implementing these tips, you can promote a stable and healthy parent-child relationship in the long run.
Key Takeaways: Positive Parenting for Communicating with Teens
Practicing the above tips can help you communicate with teenagers. It all boils down to active listening and positive parenting that encourages openness, communication, and validation. Keep your self-control in check while encouraging the same in your child.
There’s more to connection than talking. Allow your teen to develop a sense of responsibility by fulfilling tasks and allowing them to share their opinions. Empathizing with teens can go a long way and teach them self-control for becoming better human beings.
Active listening is the key to talking to your teenage children. Having empathy can help build trust, and you can progress the relationship with your child by establishing open communication. You want your teen to have a strong sense of self. So why not have a look at these parenting tips as well?
Craig Selinger
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