Parenting Teens, Themba Tutors

Knowing When to Reward: A Staple for Responsible Parenting

Knowing When to Reward: A Staple for Responsible Parenting

Parenting teens – Raising your child to be a responsible citizen is not an easy parenting task! However, you decide to parent your child/children, parents will have to enforce discipline. Even though this notion seems to indicate curtailing bad behaviors, it also means recognizing good ones. Part of parenting is saving your child from getting blinded with entitlement. This all starts with knowing rights from privileges and making sure your child understands (and yourself) the differences between the two.

Rights vs. Privileges

Rights are what everyone can enjoy. If one is deprived of rights, it is a violation. Rights promote inclusivity and fairness.

Privileges, on the other hand, are earned. If you were to ask what your kids deserve from you, they deserve their rights and some privileges. The distinction between needs and wants is essential here.

Talking about rights, here is what your kids need:

They must have a home to live in, food to fill their tummies and love for security.

They should be shielded from anything that will create long-lasting harm.

Your kids need to be reminded that you are a parent and not a friend. Respect should be established. Sometimes, no is necessary, and setting limits is a must.

Your kid(s) need space to dream and to have fun. It is their right to create fond memories and to look forward to positive things in life.

They should have consistent reality checks. This will keep them grounded and develop knowledge about what they need and what they want.

Responsible Child vs. Entitled Child

Your child may not be entirely what you make them, because they have a conscience of their own. But your child will eventually get their ideals on life from your parenting. They will harvest what you have sown. For starters, here is a comparison of a responsible child to an entitled child.

A responsible child understands that their existence is not a reason to be rewarded.

A responsible child is mindful that his or her choices have accountability. If he or she understands and even experiences the appropriate consequences, the child will act accordingly.

A responsible child acknowledges that not everything is about them. They are well aware that others are also exerting their efforts, so they become more appreciative of things around him.

An entitled child believes that life should always be positive. As a result, he or she might not create a purpose for his or her life.

An entitled child requests and requests, and they do not assess if they are deserving of the things they ask for, no matter what.

An entitled child believes that they should not be robbed of their privileges, even those they did not even earn in the first place.

It is very crucial to draw the line between wants and needs, privileges, and rights. If your child is a teenager (when their personality changes a lot), they will seek acknowledgment for the things they do. They want autonomy and privacy, but they also long for positive reinforcement from you (even if they act like they don t!).

Parenting Teens, Themba Tutors

Saying I m proud of you or thank you goes a long way! They need a lot of support, even if it's a small compliment here and there, as they undergo drastic hormonal changes.

Parenting is a journey shared between the parent(s) and the child who both seek to be understood. It may be two different points-of-view, but it is all for one common goal – to let the relationship grow as people are involved, too.


Teenagers and Earned Privileges

Beyond the Classroom: Rights, privileges and other misguided parental practices

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Parenting Teens, Themba Tutors
Craig Selinger, CEO of Themba Tutors (serving Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island, Bronx, Westchester, Long Island, New Jersey, and Connecticut), is a NY State licensed speech-language pathologist, executive functioning coach, and learning specialist with over 18 years of experience working professionally with over a thousand families. His expertise includes language-based learning issues, e.g. reading, writing, speaking, and listening, executive functioning, ADHD/ADD, and learning disabilities. Check out his interviews with top-notch professionals in the field on Spotify.
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