05 Sep Teaching Your Teen to Trust You
Teaching Your Teen to Trust You
Trust is an integral part of every relationship. During the teenage years, parents are uneasy to trusting their teen to make smart decisions. Introducing trust to your teen means is a hard concept to teach for families. Establishing trust requires time, and trust is nurtured through communication. Both parties have to earn it, and it’s easy to rapidly lose it even after one bad incident.
Have teens become familiarized with the concept of trust. There will, of course, be times of disobedience and disappointment during this ongoing trust dance between parents and their teens. Parents will need to let go and provide opportunities for their teens to learn. Being supportive along the way is crucial for your child’s success. The process of figuring out who we are ourselves continues even past adolescence.
Trust: What is it?
In understanding trust, we can think of it as a continuum. It’s a balance between the presence of faith and the absence of it. Parents have a hard time trusting their teens and are nervous that their teen’s decisions might lead them to make bad long term decisions. Parents also cannot lose their teens’ trust. This will give teens the idea of not being trusted. Being confident that their teen will make smart, safe decisions is the pinnacle of trust.
In earning trust, it is a dynamic process. It can be easily damaged, be repaired, and be given a new life. Providing teens with more freedom when they display consistent, trustworthy behaviors will go a long way. Earning these privileges will inspire teens to be more responsible. Wisely think through how much trust you should give to your child. It’s a balancing act.
Trust is earned, and it is based on many factors. Open communication with teens is one of them. Influence teens to share their stories with you without judging them. Laugh with them! Teens appreciate the bonding. Sit with them when it sounds like they are seeking company. Talk with them when they are showing signs they want to be heard.
How will I react if my trust gets broken?
· Approach the situation in a calm manner.
· Let them know what happened and how you feel.
· Let your child know the consequences of breaking your trust.
Now that the trust has been broken, what are the consequences? Your child must accept responsibility for these consequences and understand why he or she is being punished. Teaching the idea of rebuilding trust is another important concept. There are ways for this to be accomplished and introduce them to the following:
· Make Amends Through 3 R’s
- Restitution by replacing what has been damaged
- Resolve with a definite plan so no mistake will be repeated
- Reconciliation by expressing their sincerest apologies and being aware of the damage done
Allow him or her to say the words, “I am sorry for (the reason for the conflict). I now realize why it hurts you. Is there a way to make you feel, alright?”
If this does not work, you can start imposing consequences. When amends haven’t been accomplished, start the process of limiting their privileges. Your motive still is to teach and not punish. Harsh consequences can elicit resentment rather than realizing his or her misactions. Encourage your child to always stick with the truth. It will emancipate them from feeling negative emotions for not being open and truthful with you. You are helping them learn how to build and repair relationships.
Source: Trust and Teenagers